1:08:29
*DETACH & He’ll ATTACH* (Do THIS!) by former single mom x4 #feminineenergy #dating
Mia Adora🌹💍Feminine Energy
Overview
This video explains how women can shift from a 'chasing' mindset to being 'chased' in relationships by embodying feminine energy and practicing detachment. It emphasizes the importance of clarity in what one desires from a partner, allowing the man to pursue, and focusing on self-healing and personal growth rather than seeking external validation. The speakers, a former bachelor and a former single mom, share their insights and coaching experiences to guide women towards attracting and securing a committed, marriage-oriented masculine partner.
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Chapters
- To make a man attach to you, you must first detach from him.
- The goal is to shift from chasing him to being chased by him.
- This approach attracts provider-type masculine men who want to spoil, chase, and marry you.
- The strategies discussed are proven to yield results, including engagements and marriages.
Understanding and applying the principle of detachment is crucial for shifting relationship dynamics from one of neediness to one of magnetic attraction, leading to more committed partnerships.
The speaker shares her personal story of detaching from her now-husband, who was in a different country, which led him to pursue her more intensely and eventually move to be with her.
- Avoid dating men without clear intentions, especially if they don't align with your long-term goals (marriage, fatherhood).
- Dating without clarity or a defined relationship status often leads to situationships and prevents the right partner from entering your life.
- Men's behavior in a relationship is often a reflection of how the relationship began; establish direction and boundaries early.
- Women biologically bond through spending time and releasing hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, making detachment necessary if the relationship lacks direction.
Starting relationships with a clear vision of what you want prevents emotional entanglement with unsuitable partners and sets a foundation for a relationship with clear expectations.
Women often find themselves in relationships with men they don't want to marry simply because they liked them, leading to them blocking the potential for a more suitable partner.
- Shift from seeking a man's approval to dating men who are trying to prove themselves to you.
- When you overtly express your strong desire for a man, he may pull back because men naturally want to be the pursuers.
- Initiating 'I love you' or excessive expressions of desire can lead a man to invest less effort, as he feels he has already 'won' you.
- Men may continue a relationship out of convenience if the woman is always initiating and expressing her feelings first, rather than out of genuine pursuit.
Reversing the pursuit dynamic ensures that the man is genuinely invested in the relationship and willing to put in the effort required for a committed partnership.
If you find yourself always telling men you love them first or initiating most of the contact, you are likely in a chasing role, which discourages the man from pursuing you.
- Men attach when they have space to pursue you, face a challenge, and release hormones like vasopressin and testosterone.
- Constant availability and overt affection prevent a man from missing you or feeling the need to 'fight' for you.
- In a world of situationships, standing out requires not overwhelming him with your energy and allowing him to continue pursuing.
- A man's willingness to go the 'extra mile' (e.g., moving, adjusting schedules) demonstrates his commitment and desire to be with you.
Allowing a man the space to pursue fosters his natural masculine drive and commitment, making the attachment more secure and genuine.
The speaker's husband had to adjust his schedule and make significant efforts, like flying between countries, because she held her boundaries and didn't make herself constantly available.
- Detachment is not about being cold or numb, but about focusing on your own healing and growth.
- Use the time of detachment to heal your nervous system, address love blocks, and work on personal goals.
- Detachment is for your own preparation for a husband, not to manipulate him into returning.
- Accept that 'it might not be him' and focus on becoming the best version of yourself, trusting the process.
Focusing on self-healing and personal development during detachment makes you a more magnetic and prepared partner, attracting the right person rather than chasing an uncertain one.
The speaker took time to heal her nervous system and address love blocks, rather than serial dating or trying to convince her ex-partner, which ultimately led to him pursuing her seriously.
- Saying 'Good morning, handsome' or 'I miss you' too early can make a man feel he has secured you, causing him to pull back.
- These phrases can inadvertently put a man in his feminine energy, making him passive and reliant on your initiation.
- Men are visual and driven by pursuit; initiating compliments or expressions of missing them can deactivate their masculine chase instinct.
- Women often attract men based on looks or chemistry when they are in their masculine energy, mirroring how men traditionally choose partners.
Understanding specific communication pitfalls helps maintain masculine-feminine polarity and encourages the man's natural pursuit, leading to a more dynamic and committed relationship.
Sending a 'Good morning, handsome' text can lead to a man expecting continuous validation, and if you stop, he may question your interest or feel insecure, rather than him actively pursuing you.
- Choosing men based on looks or chemistry, rather than their provider/protector qualities, often means you're operating in masculine energy.
- Even financially independent women should allow men to fulfill their natural role as providers and leaders.
- If you consistently find yourself making all decisions or feeling overwhelmed by planning, you may be in your masculine energy.
- Healing past relationship wounds and subconscious blocks is essential to attract men who align with your desired relationship dynamic.
Embodying feminine energy and allowing the masculine to lead and provide creates a balanced dynamic where both partners fulfill their natural roles, leading to a more harmonious relationship.
A woman who is used to being a single mom and handling everything may attract men who also fall into a passive role, rather than a strong masculine provider, because she is embodying that 'do-it-all' energy.
Key takeaways
- True detachment is about focusing on your own growth and healing, not about manipulating someone into wanting you.
- Clarity on your relationship goals (e.g., marriage) is the first step to avoiding confusion and attracting the right partner.
- Men are naturally wired to pursue; allow them the space and challenge to chase you.
- Avoid initiating expressions of deep affection or neediness early in dating, as this can collapse polarity and deactivate his pursuit.
- Focus on your own nervous system regulation and personal development to become magnetic to high-quality masculine energy men.
- A man's actions, especially his willingness to go the extra mile and commit, are more telling than his words.
- If you consistently attract the same type of unfulfilling relationship, you are the common denominator and need to address your own energy and healing.
Key terms
DetachmentFeminine EnergyMasculine EnergyChasing ModeBeing ChasedSituationshipProvider ManPolarityNervous System RegulationLove Blocks
Test your understanding
- How does dating with 'confused' intentions hinder your ability to attract a committed partner?
- Why is it important for a man to be more invested in the relationship than you are, and how does this dynamic impact his pursuit?
- What role does 'space' play in a man's attachment process, and how can a woman create this space?
- What are the potential negative consequences of initiating phrases like 'I miss you' or 'Good morning, handsome' early in a dating relationship?
- How can focusing on self-healing and personal growth during detachment lead to attracting a higher-quality partner?