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How to Speak So That People Want to Listen | Julian Treasure | TED
TED
Overview
This video explores how to improve vocal communication by avoiding common speaking pitfalls and embracing foundational principles. It identifies seven 'deadly sins' of speaking, such as gossip, judgment, and negativity, that hinder effective listening. Conversely, it presents four cornerstones – honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love (HAIL) – as positive guides for powerful speech. The video also delves into the 'toolbox' of vocal delivery, including register, timbre, prosody, pace, and volume, offering practical vocal warm-up exercises to enhance these elements and ultimately create a world where people listen consciously and communicate effectively.
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Chapters
- The human voice is an incredibly powerful instrument capable of profound impact, from starting wars to expressing love.
- Many people experience frustration when their words are not heard or heeded by others.
- Understanding why people don't listen is the first step toward speaking more powerfully and creating change.
Recognizing the potential of our voice and the common barriers to effective communication is crucial for anyone who wants their message to be understood and impactful.
The speaker notes that the voice is the only instrument that can start a war or say 'I love you.'
- Avoid gossip, which involves speaking ill of someone not present and erodes trust.
- Refrain from judging others, as it makes people defensive and unwilling to listen.
- Combat negativity and complaining, which spread misery rather than positivity.
- Take responsibility by avoiding excuses and blame, which signal a lack of accountability.
- Do not exaggerate or lie, as this demeans language and destroys credibility.
- Distinguish facts from opinions to avoid dogmatism, which makes listening impossible.
These negative speaking habits actively prevent connection and understanding, making it essential to identify and eliminate them for more effective communication.
The speaker's mother responded to 'It's October 1 today' with 'I know, isn't it dreadful?', illustrating extreme negativity.
- Embrace Honesty: Speak truthfully and clearly.
- Practice Authenticity: Be genuine and true to yourself.
- Uphold Integrity: Be reliable and keep your word, building trust.
- Incorporate Love: Wish others well, tempering honesty with kindness and fostering empathy.
These positive principles provide a strong foundation for speech, ensuring that what you say is not only heard but also received positively and builds strong relationships.
Authenticity is described as 'standing in your own truth.'
- Register: Utilize different vocal ranges (chest voice for authority, head voice for higher tones) effectively.
- Timbre: Cultivate a voice that feels rich, smooth, and warm, which can be improved through training.
- Prosody: Employ variations in tone and rhythm (avoiding monotony and uptalk) to convey meaning and emotion.
- Pace: Adjust speaking speed to emphasize points or create anticipation, using silence strategically.
- Volume: Control loudness and quietness to engage listeners and convey emphasis appropriately.
Mastering these vocal tools allows you to add nuance, power, and emotional depth to your message, making your speech more engaging and persuasive.
Speaking in a lower, chest register is associated with power and authority, influencing how politicians are perceived.
- Warming up the voice is essential before any important speaking engagement, just like warming up a physical instrument.
- Simple exercises can significantly improve vocal performance and readiness.
- Key warm-ups include deep breathing with a sigh, lip trills ('Ba Ba Ba', 'Brrr'), tongue exercises ('La La La'), rolling 'R's, and vocal sirens ('We-aw').
Preparing your voice through targeted warm-ups ensures it functions optimally, allowing you to deliver your message with clarity, confidence, and impact.
The 'siren' exercise involves starting with a high 'we' sound and smoothly transitioning to a low 'aw' sound (weeeaawww).
- Currently, communication often occurs with people who aren't truly listening, in noisy or acoustically poor environments.
- Imagine a world where speech is powerful, listening is conscious, and environments are designed for sound.
- Consciously creating and consuming sound, and designing environments for acoustics, would lead to a more understanding world.
This vision highlights the profound societal impact of improving our communication habits and environments, fostering greater understanding and connection.
The speaker contrasts the current reality of speaking to people 'who simply aren't listening' with an ideal world where listening is 'conscious'.
Key takeaways
- Effective speaking requires conscious effort to avoid destructive habits like gossip and judgment.
- The principles of Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, and Love (HAIL) are fundamental for building trust and ensuring your message is well-received.
- Vocal delivery elements like register, timbre, prosody, pace, and volume are tools that can be honed to enhance communication power.
- Regular vocal warm-ups are crucial for preparing your voice, much like athletes prepare their bodies.
- Improving our speaking and listening habits can contribute to a more understanding and harmonious world.
- The way you say something (vocal delivery) is as important as what you say.
Key terms
Seven Deadly Sins of SpeakingGossipJudgingNegativityExcusesEmbroidery/ExaggerationDogmatismHAIL (Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Love)RegisterTimbreProsodyMonotonic/MonotoneUptalkPaceSilenceVolumeSodcastingVocal Warm-up Exercises
Test your understanding
- What are the 'seven deadly sins' of speaking, and why should they be avoided?
- How do the four cornerstones of HAIL (Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Love) contribute to powerful and effective communication?
- Explain the importance of vocal elements like register, timbre, prosody, pace, and volume in delivering a message.
- What is the purpose of vocal warm-up exercises, and what are some examples provided in the video?
- How can consciously improving our speaking and listening habits lead to a better world?