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How to be confident
It Girl Playbook
Overview
This video explains that confidence is not an innate trait but a skill that can be developed through consistent action and self-awareness. It emphasizes that building confidence requires accumulating "evidence" of your capabilities by keeping promises to yourself, embracing challenges, and avoiding comparisons. The video also highlights the importance of positive self-talk, confident body language, and celebrating achievements as crucial components in constructing a robust sense of self-assurance.
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Chapters
- Confidence is a skill built over time, not an inherent trait.
- Lack of confidence often stems from a lack of "evidence" – proof that you are who you say you are.
- Every action is a vote for the person you choose to be; misalignment leads to feeling like a fraud.
- True confidence arises from a collection of undeniable proof of your capabilities and actions.
Understanding that confidence is built, not born, empowers you to take actionable steps towards developing it by focusing on evidence rather than wishing for an innate quality.
If you want to be smart and you prioritize learning, you have evidence to counter someone calling you stupid, demonstrating confidence based on proof.
- Start by keeping promises made to yourself, no matter how small.
- Follow through on commitments like studying, working out, or completing tasks.
- Build a track record of reliability by consistently doing what you say you will do.
- Tackle difficult tasks intentionally to prove to yourself that you can handle discomfort and challenges.
Consistently fulfilling your own commitments creates self-trust, the foundation of genuine confidence, by demonstrating your reliability to yourself.
If you commit to working out, going to the gym and following through, even when uncomfortable, builds proof that you can achieve what you set out to do.
- Avoid comparing your journey to others; focus on your own progress and uniqueness.
- Comparison is the thief of joy and will always make you feel inadequate.
- Use others for inspiration, but the goal is self-improvement, not outperforming someone else.
- Appreciate your own strengths, weaknesses, and individual path.
Focusing on your personal growth journey rather than external comparisons prevents discouragement and allows you to build confidence based on your own merits.
Recognizing that someone ahead of you on their journey has different strengths and a different path, and valuing your own unique progress instead of feeling defeated.
- Improve posture and body language; how you carry yourself influences how you feel.
- Confident physical cues can trick your brain into feeling more confident.
- Speak kindly to yourself; your self-talk shapes your mindset and outcomes.
- Positive affirmations and self-praise reinforce a confident self-image.
Your physical presentation and internal dialogue directly impact your self-perception, offering a powerful, immediate way to influence your confidence levels.
Studies show that forcing a smile can actually improve mood, demonstrating how physical actions can alter internal feelings and build confidence.
- Keep a "stack of evidence" of your achievements and positive feedback.
- Celebrate small wins and acknowledge your progress, especially during difficult times.
- Review your proof when feeling down to counteract negative self-talk.
- Confidence is a decision to act and build upon your accumulated evidence.
Actively collecting and reviewing proof of your successes provides tangible reminders of your capabilities, reinforcing confidence when self-doubt arises.
Keeping a wall with achievements like YouTube plaques and screenshots of positive comments to serve as a reminder of accomplishments when facing challenges.
Key takeaways
- Confidence is actively built through consistent actions that align with your desired self.
- The most reliable way to build trust in yourself is by keeping the promises you make to yourself.
- Embracing discomfort and challenging yourself are essential for growth and confidence.
- Comparing yourself to others is detrimental to confidence; focus solely on your own progress.
- Your physical posture and internal self-talk have a direct and significant impact on your confidence.
- Documenting your achievements and positive feedback creates a powerful "evidence stack" to combat self-doubt.
- Confidence is a continuous process and a conscious decision, not a final destination.
Key terms
ConfidenceEvidence of capabilitySelf-trustActionable stepsComfort zoneComparisonBody languageSelf-talkProof stackMindset
Test your understanding
- What does the video mean by "evidence" in the context of building confidence?
- How can keeping small promises to yourself contribute to greater self-confidence?
- Why is avoiding comparison with others crucial for developing genuine confidence?
- How can consciously altering your body language impact your feelings of confidence?
- What is the purpose of creating a "stack of evidence" for your achievements?